The last several newsletters have focused on seeing a situation clearly, especially when each person has a different story. Last month we encouraged listening to individuals separately. This month we will begin to outline best practices.
Protecting a victim and the information she shares is of utmost importance to both her safety and the process of reconciliation.* This takes great wisdom, prayer, and insight. You and I may intuitively miss the boat because Scripture has been misunderstood and mistaught in many churches. As Jesus’ Body, we begin by listening to the victim, taking her seriously, and providing for her requests. Yes, this will take hours. Yes, this is urgent.
As soon as we realize this is hard, messy, and complicated, engaging in best practice requires help from multiple people. You may need to reach outside your local church. The book, Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse,** lists the following members of a Shepherding Team:
- Victim’s counselor
- Church crisis care coordinator
- Victim Advocate
- Perpetrator Counselor
- Pastor
When this situation occurs, we’re often tempted to address it “in house.” Unfortunately, the individual with power will continue to manipulate the process and isolate the victim. When this happens, we find ourselves off-balance, struggling to see things from God’s perspective as we apply justice, mercy, and personal humility (Micah 6:8). Instead, a team approach allows for checks and balances as we minister to the entire family.
A final word: start with the assumption that each victim is a normal person. If her demeanor or pattern of communicating is different than expected, it’s not because there’s something wrong with her. It’s because there’s something wrong with her situation. She’s normal. Her situation is abnormal.
The December newsletter will continue to address best practices. Until then, thank you for your ongoing prayers and support. We enjoy serving you!
Request Light in the Darkness Training for your leadership or congregation (available via zoom for $25/person; 5 hours)
Sign up for the Biblical Victim Care Course which will begin January 1 as an asynchronous course. 12 weeks; 25 CEU’s; $300
Sincerely,
Clarity in Action Ministries Board of Directors:
| President: Sydney Millage | Vice-President: Karen Miller |
| Treasurer: Jamie Julius | Secretary: Jessica Cox |
| Director: Floyd Yutzy |
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*Reconciliation is dependent on two separate individuals. No one person can make reconciliation happen. Our primary concern is each individual’s reconciliation with God through Jesus Christ.
**Caring for Families Caught in Domestic Abuse: A Guide Toward Protection, Refuge and Hope edited by Chris Moles. More people will be involved, but these roles are critical.
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