Last month we talked about the importance of talking to individuals separately. If bullying is happening in a marriage, there is no way to hear the truth with both of them in the same room at the same time.
However, many pastors and people helpers cry, “Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” when an individual shares suffering that results from another’s sin. They may call it, “gossip,” and refuse to listen.
Refusing to listen to those who are hurting is not God-like. God does not shut us down or zap us with lightning each time we complain and lament. He is not threatened by human pain and confusion; He addresses it from one cover of the Bible to the other. The impact of sin is true. It is a reality that exposes unrighteousness. And it affects each one of us.
Instead of shutting us down, God invites us to come to Him. Psalm 62:8 says, “…pour out your hearts before him. God is our refuge.” This was true for David and King Saul, the Old Testament prophets, and Jesus. Each was tormented by sinful men. Each cried out to the Lord and spoke to others, warning them, lamenting, and pleading for help.
Our first spring in the Midwest, a tornado came within miles of our home. Afterward, we took a drive, amazed at the damage. I will never forget the 2-story yellow house, windows broken, doors ajar, curtains and household goods blown and scattered in a northeast path across empty fields. In the same way that house was ravaged by wind and rain, an individual’s life may be ravaged by the sinful effects of another.
Sharing this suffering is not gossip. It is important to recognize and understand the hidden realities of differentials and punishment so we can ask questions, gather information, and look for patterns, even if it’s uncomfortable. Expect a sufferer to talk about evil. This is not gossip, or sharing with evil intent. We must remember that speaking about evil is different than speaking evil.*
As we follow God’s example, we open the door to truth. We listen and ask questions to determine the needs, impact, and a godly response. God uses His people, the Body of Christ, to represent His heart, hands, and feet in this sin-cursed world of suffering. To those who cut off sufferers, God says, “The one who shuts his ears to the cry of the poor will himself also call out and not be answered” (Proverbs 21:13). We cannot determine their poverty until we enter into their suffering.
On the other hand, if it seems like both individuals are responsible for arguments or violent outbursts, you’ll want to read next months’ newsletter.
Until then, thank you for your ongoing prayers and support. We enjoy serving you!
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Clarity in Action Ministries
P.O. Box 403
Iowa City, IA 52244
Sincerely,
Clarity in Action Ministries Board of Directors:
| President: Sydney Millage | Vice-President: Karen Miller |
| Treasurer: Jamie Julius | Secretary: Jessica Cox |
| Director: Floyd Yutzy |
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* Rebecca Davis, Untwisting Scriptures that were used to tie you up, gag you, and tangle your mind: Book 3 Your Words, Your Emotions, Chapter 1.
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