We do not provide counseling services of any kind. Contact your local domestic abuse shelter, dial 9-1-1, or reach out to a trusted friend/organization.

eiffel tower, paris, france

Great Expectations

by | Mar 20, 2024 | Article | 0 comments

For those who don’t understand the complexity of living with an oppressive individual, consider this narrative:

Anna dreamed of growing up and moving to France. She read books about French art and landmarks. She imagined what it would feel like to sit in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower sipping tea. When the day came, she packed her bags and boarded the plane… only to arrive in China.

She wasn’t prepared for China. She didn’t have the currency, know the language or landmarks. She felt alone, betrayed, confused, grieved, and, sometimes, angry. This wasn’t what she had in mind at all. It’s not what she wanted, dreamed of, and looked forward to. Be that as it may, she learned to live in China.

Of course, there is nothing inherently wrong with China, but living under the authority and power of an oppressive individual is like moving to an unfamiliar country. Young men and women think about getting married and having a family. Many of them make decisions and prepare themselves “to have and to hold, to love and to cherish till death do us part.”

Instead, the ongoing tension and fear of oppression affects every part of life:  eating, drinking, sleeping, working, raising children, going to church, shopping, reading mail, and taking phone calls. The habitual control of one person over another doesn’t reflect God’s design for relationships. It doesn’t reflect God’s plan for individuals. It certainly doesn’t reflect the relationship of Christ and His Church; Christ who, 

knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside his outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around his waist. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around him.” (John 13:3-5 ESV)

Jesus, having all authority, has put individuals in authority to use it as He does*–for the good of others (Romans 13:4). A Christlike environment results in mutual edification, growth, peace, joy, and unity. In a relationship where Jesus rules and reigns, we find belonging and acceptance. We have discovered a taste of Home.


Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Related Articles

An Opportunity for You

An Opportunity for You

You may have noticed some accounts people give of their marriage situation can’t be reconciled. What you hear from one individual conflicts with what you hear from the other individual. This is typical of oppressive relationships. This is atypical of healthy...

What We’re Missing

What We’re Missing

This mid-month newsletter is an opportunity to shine light on what is happening in the realm of marital domination. All of us wish it wasn’t so. But the reality is shocking. According to research, an overwhelming majority of senior pastors (98%) say a person...

How Does Your Garden Grow?

How Does Your Garden Grow?

This mid-month newsletter is an opportunity to learn about  sin in the form of marital domination. “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption,...

A Rose with Thorns

A Rose with Thorns

The idiom “love is a rose with thorns” means that love is beautiful and rewarding, but it also comes with challenges and difficulties. The phrase implies that the beauty and joy of love are worth the pain and sacrifice, just like a rose is worth its thorns. One woman...